Let not your heart be troubled

Wednesday October 5th, 2005 was seven years ago today. I hate that date- but I remember it. Actually, I remember every little detail- like it was just yesterday. I remember waking up, hopping in the shower, waking Warren up and yelling at him to hurry so we wouldn't be late for school. I remember what I was wearing- a brown long sleeve tee-shirt with American Eagle printed across the front- white capris- flip flops- and my pearls. I remember leaving- getting into Warren's truck- riding shotgun- listening to a country cd he had burned the night before. We stopped at Extra Mart- he got out, grabbed a coffee and we were off once again. Had I known what was about to happen, I would have done anything to change it- but thats why they call it an accident. I remember feeling Warren's arm over my chest, bracing me for what was about to happen. I remember the impact- hitting my head- knowing I had to get out. I remember laying on the ground and seeing Warren about ten feet to my left- his back was towards me. Within seconds there was people everywhere- surrounding us. I heard someone say something about Life Star then an ambulance. Next thing I knew I was at Hartford Hospital in the ER. I remember asking where Warren was and if he was ok- I was reassured he was in the next room over and doing fine. My thoughts wondered. Where was mom and dad? Did anyone tell them? They must know. After what seemed like an eternity, there they were- my mom and dad. They came closer. I asked what took so long and that's when they told me. We lost him. Warren, he's gone. He didn't survive. From that point on it gets blurry, my mind has trouble recalling what happened next- but they say thats normal. They say it's the body's way of protecting you from something you can't handle- and emotionally the pain was unbearable. Looking back it still seems so hard to comprehend. So many things have happened since that day seven years ago- so many things have changed. Our family has grown and come January he would have been an Uncle for the very first time. He would have loved that. He would be proud of how far we've come together. But it's important that we talk about him. It's important that we reminisce and remember- because even though he may not be here with us physically- he's watching over us and he was real. He lived- he loved- and then he had to leave. 

"Let not your heart be troubled ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my father's house are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also".